It’s morning (as I’m writing this, at least), and I thought that for those of you foolish enough to wake up without a bitter sense of injustice, I’d help bring you back to the level of the cynics. We’re somewhere around level 5.

Now, I’ve been thinking about the upcoming U.S. presidential election a lot, given that my choices of things to focus on are either a.) the shitty job market, b.) the shitty economy, or c.) the shitty campaign policies of McPalin (I like to shorten things), and this seems like the thing that might turn around the quickest.

Seeing as it’s the top o’ the mornin’ –or something– right now, and I’ve got absolutely no idea what my unemployed ass is doing awake (besides wishing that instead of holding this useless B.A., I was holding a donut, or a government check), this posting will probably be lacking in several areas, including but not limited to: grammar, content, spelling, content, coherence. Please, bear with me.

 So, I’d like to consider myself to be a fairly educated individual. I’m talking not so much about schoolin’, but rather in current events. I’ve been glued to CNN for as long as I’ve been out of school/out of a job, and once or twice I’ve even ventured over to the dark side of politics and spent a few minutes on Fox News. You know, for the balance. Mind you, I’m no pundit, but I feel that in these few months, I’ve acquired a bit of political accumen at the observational level. And also, I now understand what exactly a Bear Market is. It involves none of the cuddliness I had previously imagined. On the plus side, I won’t have to report it to PETA!

The point is (and I assure you, one might exist), that in these past few weeks since Sen. McCain, in an unbelievable and poorly researched twist, chose Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate I have continually been confused. Do people actually buy in to this bullshit? I mean, c’mon, America. We’re choosing the second-in-command of our country, not the head of the PTA. And Christ, even then I’m not sure she’s qualified. But still, Republicans seem to think that she is the second coming of Reagan and will lead them (well, the rich, evangelical ones) into prosperity. Again, I ask, really?

 I’ll say it: not all Republicans are idiots, which is why I’m so befuddled that this woman (and John "Crazy Eyes" McCain for that matter) have any support from their party. They somehow think that the proven failure economic policies of the "trickle down" variety will work this time, in the middle of a complete economic crisis. They think we’re winning the war in Iraq. They think we should have gone to war in Iraq in the first place. They think (despite so much evidence to the contrary) that kids won’t have sex on account of their love for Jesus, and that if they do, they’ll know how to stop the babies from a-commin’ with no contraceptive knowledge whatsoever. They think that women’s rights are not so much women’s to have, but the government’s to assign. They’re corrupt (the both of them). They’re out of touch (the both of them). They think that we shouldn’t negotiate with freaking Spain. They think healthcare is a privelige. They think having the middle name "Hussein" makes you a terrorist; and worst of all, they think they can sneak all of this by the American public.

Claiming to be "country first" and leaving most of the country behind seems a little incongruous. I’m just sayin’.

All in all, I just don’t understand where any support could come from. Reading his policies and listening to McCain speak have led me to the  conclusion that this man and his lipstick-wearin’ cohort will bring nothing but political, economic and social downfall upon the nation. How does the Common Man ("real people," if you will) buy into this crap?

I’ll leave it at that, lest my rage take over and completely obscure any point this post may have. But seriously, if anyone can give me a sound reason for voting for this maniac, I’d be interested in hearing it. My mind’s made up for this election, but I just want to know that half the country hasn’t completely lost their damn minds.

I think at this point, we’re all familiar with the Tina Fey impression of Sarah Palin on SNL, but recently there have been talks of Sarah Palin impersonating Tina Fey on an upcoming episode. Please, woman, just because it worked for George Bush Sr., doesn’t mean it will work for you! That was then, this is now. Our bitterness towards politicians has grown (or at least mine has), and we don’t need to see them pretend to be funny. Trust us; you’re funny enough on your own.

Source: http://dlisted.com/node/28626

I am posting this for no other reason than it is Monday night and I’m watching Dirty Jobs because Monday prime time TV sucks (yeah, I don’t watch Heroes–SUE ME), but I love Mike Rowe. Yessir I do. I just think the love should be spread.

When it comes to movie adaptations, many follow the manta "oh, well, the book is better," as a kind of precursor to intelligence (Oh, look! she can read! Movies are obviously beneath her!"), but this cliché sadly rings true in the case of Choke, Chuck Palahniuk’s latest book-come-movie. It’s not that I’m against movie adaptations of books-quite the contrary; I often argue for the merits of certain movies that deviate from the books. I just think that it’s important that you know this, so as to not discard my review as some rambling of the intelligentsia (as if), but I truly think the problem with this movie is that is was a too literal adaptation in some parts, but too deviant in other parts.

Hit the jump for my full, disjointed review
(more…)

The Final Fantasy franchise is crossing platforms?! Be still my heart.

I have avoided updating to the newest generation on consoles due to my chronic poverty, but now I think I’ll buy an Xbox 360 due to this and the upcoming price cut. Final Fantasy is kind of my gaming weakness…well, that and Warcraft.

Video for the kickass trailer after the jump.

I call bullshit on this one.

Season 5 of Project Runway started again last night (much to my joy and surprise—did they even promote this thing? [Probably in the States –Ed.]) with a challenge that hearkened back to the ‘basics:’ create a look with items purchased from the grocery store. Sounds familiar, right? Of course, after the initial “Oh my god’s” and nervous laughter, they all bolted into the store with a general focus on bogarting as many table cloths as possible (a move that made Tim yell, “You guys are a bunch of slackers!”—laughs were had on my part). A small minority however, chose to go with something a little more risqué—no coconut shell bras yet, but I can dare to dream…

Today’s Oprah featured Justin Berry, a boy who at 13, set up a webcam in his bedroom and "join[ed] a sordid online world." I’ll give a brief summary, with the full report after the jump: The kid sets up a webcam, begins talking to older men, takes his shirt off for money, masturbates on camera for money, flies to Vegas to meet some guy in a hotel, goes down to Mexico to start an actual porn site (mind you, this was years later, though Oprah fails to give a definite timeline), and then, is saved.